“What is required of you to maintain your closeness?” is a question I often ask clients who describe a very close relationship with someone. Closeness can be highly valued and feel snuggly and protective. But it often requires compliance of some kind to be maintained, limits to relationships outside of the family, feeling unable to …
When closeness binds: The enmeshment/ undeveloped self schema Read More »
Do you feel you lack the skills to get by each day? Do you believe you can’t make everyday decisions on your own or feel a lot of anxiety if you can’t check and get reassurance from others about your decision? Do you feel like you couldn’t get by without your partner? If so you …
When you think you can’t adult: the incompetence/ dependence schema Read More »
Most commonly seen in people with anxiety , the vulnerability to harm and illness schema fills you with constant worry and fear about a range of things that could go wrong. Typically people with the vulnerability to harm and illness schema focus on fear about illness, safety of themselves. This schema whispers: “what if it’s not a …
Something bad will happen: the vulnerability to harm or illness schema Read More »
Do you feel like you don’t fit in, that other people don’t warm to you? Do you tend to assume that you are weird and so different that you won’t be welcomed into a group? Or that you don’t belong anywhere? The social isolation/ alienation schema is very common and develops out of a number of circumstances. …
I’m weird and I don’t belong: the social isolation/ alienation schema Read More »
Do you worry that you are bad or unworthy? Or that others won’t enjoy spending time with you? Do you often find yourself prickling with shame? Do you notice thoughts like “I am worthless” or “I’m stupid” or “ there’s something really wrong with me”? The defectiveness/ shame schema is a very common pattern. This …
When you believe you’re unworthy: the defectiveness/ shame schema Read More »
I recently watched This is Paris, a documentary about Paris Hilton now showing on YouTube. It’s a fascinating and sad story about what drives Paris Hilton to be the person she is. Paris is mostly know as an uber famous glamour girl and extremely wealthy business woman but she also has a history of childhood …
When you can’t let your guard down: the mistrust & abuse schema Read More »
Do you every feel lonely, empty or emotionally separate to others, even when you’re with people? Do you tend to focus on others, leaving other people seeing you as strong and having few needs? Or do you struggle to identify your own emotional needs? Maybe you even think you don’t have emotional needs and tell yourself “I’m …
When you don’t know what you’re missing: emotional deprivation schema Read More »
Are you anxious about your relationships and fear being alone? Do you need a lot of reassurance from your partner that they want to be with you? Do you insist your partner text you regularly and become worried they don’t love you if they don’t respond? Do you fear your partner won’t come back to …
No one will take care of me: the abandonment schema Read More »
At the Schema Therapy Collective, we are passionate about Schema Therapy and it’s capacity to help people create the lives they want. Schema therapy focuses on changing long-standing patterns to improve your life rather than focusing on short term fixes to mental health symptoms. So what is Schema Therapy? Schema therapy is an evidence-based, integrative …
Schema therapy: what is it and how does it help? Read More »
