early maladaptive schemas

The negativity pessimism schema. It’s the hope that kills you.

Recently I watched Ted Lasso, a wonderfully funny TV series. Ted, American and the ever optimistic coach, is horrified when he comes across the saying “It’s the hope that kills” in the local British football community. The belief “It’s the hope that kills you” is a beautiful example of the type of thinking common to …

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What’s the point of feelings? The emotional inhibition schema

Do you tend to be rational at all times? Do you struggle to be spontaneous, silly, and in the moment? Do you rarely express feelings? Do you inhibit one emotion altogether? When you have the emotional inhibition schema you struggle to express your authentic feelings. This schema develops in childhood usually to avoid punishment or …

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Self-sacrifice: a pathway to resentment and burnout.

Many people with a self-sacrifice schema have childhoods that strongly encouraged self-sacrifice including religious beliefs that over value self-sacrifice. Women are very often taught that being a good woman means overdoing for others at the expense of self. This is a pattern that is expected of women by our culture and is highly promoted as a virtue. …

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When you crave the approval of others: the approval seeking recognition schema

Do you find yourself always wanting to make a good impression on others? Do you try to do what you think others will think is cool or will be appreciated by other people? Maybe you spend a lot of time making sure you do the latest hobbies, focusing on your social standing, making sure you …

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