Author name: Nadene van der Linden

Nadene van der Linden is a Clinical Psychologist, Advanced Certified Schema Therapist/ Supervisor (ISST). Nadene is also an EMDR Consultant (EMDRAA). Nadene has a special interest in trauma and uses active therapy approaches including schema therapy, EMDR, and chairwork therapy techniques. Nadene is a Board Approved Supervisor and supervises and mentors psychologists and other mental health therapists. Nadene offers online training for therapists at nadenevanderlinden.com

What Is Limited Reparenting? The Core Mechanism That Defines Schema Therapy

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Limited reparenting is the heart of schema therapy. It’s fair to say that if your therapy isn’t guided by limited reparenting, it’s not schema therapy. Jeffery Young, the founder of schema therapy, has consistently described limited reparenting as the core mechanism of change in Schema Therapy. Limited reparenting is not a technique; it is the […]

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Feeling Stuck in Depression? How Schema Therapy Breaks the Cycle

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Depression can feel lonely, draining and heavy, making even simple daily tasks feel like a huge effort and leaving you feeling worn down over time. When it keeps coming back or doesn’t respond to treatment, it’s understandably frustrating, as nobody wants to feel this way. At the beginning of your treatment journey, you will most

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The Fear of Losing Control Schema: my feelings will cause damage

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If you believe that your feelings are dangerous and can cause damage or result in serious consequences, you may have the fear of losing control schema. Yalcin et all (2022) defines this schema as “The excessive inhibition or disconnection of spontaneous emotion, action, or expression, due to a fear that one would otherwise lose control

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Critic Modes: Is your inner critic punitive, demanding or guilt inducing?

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Most people are aware of thoughts that cross their mind. These thoughts guide them, prompt them and even narrate their actions. You might notice some of these thoughts are critical of you, and the things you do and think. When this occurs, an inner critic mode is present. In schema therapy, this voice is called

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The Helpless Surrender Mode

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Do you have someone in your life who seems perpetually stuck, complains a lot, and blames others for their situation? Perhaps this person states that they are powerless to change and that things can’t get better for them because of their circumstance.

They may also reject any suggestions that could help shift them out of helplessness and move them towards change. You may find they get angry at your suggestions and tell you that if you cared you wouldn’t even say these things. If so, you have met someone with the Helpless Surrender Mode

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What does little you need? Learning to take care of your vulnerable part.

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Learning how to identify what you need emotionally can be hard. Especially if you have been cut off or dissociated from your needs for a long time. This is often the case when we have been using our coping modes a lot or all of the time. If you find knowing what you need hard, I recommend you make

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The negativity pessimism schema. It’s the hope that kills you.

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Recently I watched Ted Lasso, a wonderfully funny TV series. Ted, American and the ever optimistic coach, is horrified when he comes across the saying “It’s the hope that kills” in the local British football community. The belief “It’s the hope that kills you” is a beautiful example of the type of thinking common to

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What’s the point of feelings? The emotional inhibition schema

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Do you tend to be rational at all times? Do you struggle to be spontaneous, silly, and in the moment? Do you rarely express feelings? Do you inhibit one emotion altogether? When you have the emotional inhibition schema you struggle to express your authentic feelings. This schema develops in childhood usually to avoid punishment or

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Self-sacrifice: a pathway to resentment and burnout.

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Many people with a self-sacrifice schema have childhoods that strongly encouraged self-sacrifice including religious beliefs that over value self-sacrifice. Women are very often taught that being a good woman means overdoing for others at the expense of self. This is a pattern that is expected of women by our culture and is highly promoted as a virtue.

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When you crave the approval of others: the approval seeking recognition schema

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Do you find yourself always wanting to make a good impression on others? Do you try to do what you think others will think is cool or will be appreciated by other people? Maybe you spend a lot of time making sure you do the latest hobbies, focusing on your social standing, making sure you

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When closeness binds: The enmeshment/ undeveloped self schema

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“What is required of you to maintain your closeness?” is a question I often ask clients who describe a very close relationship with someone. Closeness can be highly valued and feel snuggly and protective. But it often requires compliance of some kind to be maintained, limits to relationships outside of the family, feeling unable to

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Something bad will happen: the vulnerability to harm or illness schema

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Most commonly seen in people with anxiety , the vulnerability to harm and illness schema fills you with constant worry and fear about a range of things that could go wrong. Typically people with the vulnerability to harm and illness schema focus on fear about illness, safety of themselves. This schema whispers: “what if it’s not a

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I’m weird and I don’t belong: the social isolation/ alienation schema

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Do you feel like you don’t fit in, that other people don’t warm to you? Do you tend to assume that you are weird and so different that you won’t be welcomed into a group? Or that you don’t belong anywhere? The social isolation/ alienation schema is very common and develops out of a number of circumstances.

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When you believe you’re unworthy: the defectiveness/ shame schema

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Do you worry that you are bad or unworthy? Or that others won’t enjoy spending time with you? Do you often find yourself prickling with shame? Do you notice thoughts like “I am worthless” or “I’m stupid” or “ there’s something really wrong with me”? The defectiveness/ shame schema is a very common pattern. This

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When you don’t know what you’re missing: emotional deprivation schema

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Do you every feel lonely, empty or emotionally separate to others, even when you’re with people? Do you tend to focus on others, leaving other people seeing you as strong and having few needs? Or do you struggle to identify your own emotional needs? Maybe you even think you don’t have emotional needs and tell yourself “I’m

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